I've been thinking lately of how quickly I gave up my dreams of becoming a writer.
It's like it was what was always expected of me, and I didn't want to be the same old predictable boring Molly. On the other hand, sometimes I wonder if I held onto it as long as I did simply because I thought it was what "mom would want".
I love to write. That will never change.
I love words and how I can manipulate them to speak the words I could never say out loud.
I just wish I knew what I wanted to do with life. I want to have a real purpose.
I know I'll always have a purpose as a Christian, but I want to be seen as meaningful and appreciated outside that sect.
In bible study today I pretty much had a breakdown. Everything about my mom and myself just came out in a floodgate release that would make fish tremble.
I'm so blessed with those people there. Shawn mentioned that we become who we surround ourselves with, and I thought how lucky I am to be surrounded by those people.
Carlye held my hand through all of it and told me how she loved me. And Caitlyn was able to plead for me, the way I haven't been able to.
Deanna came to me afterwards and told me she could feel what I felt when I talked about my mom. Now I'm not so scared to present my testimony because I know that some of the stuff I mention in it can really reach people. It was a horribly fark part of my life, but I'm willing to dig it all up if I'm able to get through to people.
Then it's completely with it.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm pretty much just stoked now.
Wow. I'm talking like Caitlyn Spence.
I need some more friends with a wider vocabulary.
Sooo tired.
No school tomorrow.
<3I love life.
It's totally official.
Adios my loyal chickas and papa citos
Molly<33
