Lennie Low P2

Molly The trigger trips the hammer, but the bullets never come says:
in short, I guess little Molly's all grown up, eh?
√L3NN! says:
seems as such
√L3NN! says:
you were always most resistant
Molly The trigger trips the hammer, but the bullets never come says:
haha to what?
√L3NN! says:
growing up
√L3NN! says:
not in the stay a kid sorta way
√L3NN! says:
just in the everything's meaningless sorta way
√L3NN! says:
pointless, immaturity in mature situations of being an adult
Molly The trigger trips the hammer, but the bullets never come says:
I have no idea what that means, or if I'm totally being insulted
√L3NN! says:
really tired
√L3NN! says:
no
Molly The trigger trips the hammer, but the bullets never come says:
haha
√L3NN! says:
see
√L3NN! says:
im just making much less sense now that i need sleep
√L3NN! says:
you were always awesome molly <33

Lennie Low

Molly The trigger trips the hammer, but the bullets never come says:
Do you ever feel like you've lived 300 lives?
√L3NN! says:
no, but i feel 19 years old
√L3NN! says:
i feel very much like this is my first life
√L3NN! says:
and its the first time any of this has ever existed
Molly The trigger trips the hammer, but the bullets never come says:
Random, I know... but like, when I talk to you, it's so bizarre. Because way back when, we spent hours on the phone, talking until one of us fell asleep, and hung out every day and all this crazy stuff. We knew everything about eachother. There were no secrets. We were like... in sync.
And now we're complete strangers.
√L3NN! says:
yeah, i think about things like that
√L3NN! says:
and how even though its been our life, its been broken up into so many completely different pieces that don't really fit together if looked at on the whole

Turner

Alright. So as positively draining as it is to spend 14 straight hours tending to the needs of 2 toddlers and a pair of 7.5 year old's with serious schemes ALWAYS brewing in their little heads, I can't think of many things I'd rather do than spend my time with the Turner kids.
Despite Kiana's bossiness, Kiran's temper tantrums, Olivia's terrible twos, and Madison's teething, those kids are incredible. I pretty much swoon every time Kiana hugs me and tells me she wants to be just like me when she's my age (never thought I'd hear that one), or Olivia calls out "Molly! Molly!" and when I respond with a distracted "yes, Livvie?" she blows a slobbery 2 year old kiss and says "I love you!" Or the first time a huge grin spread across Maddie's face when she woke up and saw me standing by her crib. That girl is such an angel. I love her 4 teeth, her giggle, how she bounces whenever she can grab hold of anything sturdy, and how her strawberry blond hair is more like fuzz than anything else.
I also love Kiran's unbelievable innocence and how Kiana has way more maturity than any 8 year old I've ever met. She's so grounded, and I love how Kiran's a little dreamer.
And how he innocently asked me tonight if I had a boyfriend, and when I told him I certainly did not, he replied with "oh... good."
I love the talks I have with Barb when she drives me home every night about how she's worried about how much she works with her company, and whether her kids know that she does it because she loves them so much. I love reassuring her that her kids know how hard she works and that she's teaching them with her actions all about dedication, hard work, and love.
And how I admire the way that after working from 5am til 9pm, she still stays up til 1am making the kids homemade muffins for breakfast and fixing Kiran's broken hockeystick.

I love that entire family in more ways than I could ever possibly express.

Cause it'll change with the season and you'll be the reason why

I miss you.
I remember we used to sit down and talk about everything.
You wouldn't let me walk away until I told you EXACTLY what was wrong.
We haven't talked in MONTHS. I see you enough, and sometimes you even ask me how I am... but when my answer is merely "fine", you seem completely content with that answer, and go on your merry way. A year ago, 6 months ago, I never would have gotten away with that answer.
I've been hurting a lot lately, and I'm not going to convince myself that you just didn't notice. I've seen you notice, and sometimes that's even worse than you just not noticing me. The fact that you just choose to disregard me instead. We don't even know who you are anymore. You were like a father to me for 3 years of my life. You were that to so many people, but they seem to be all the people that mean nothing to you anymore.
Maybe one day I'll be able to tell you all this. But would you even hear me?

I hear You calling me; You want to set me free with Your love

Lately I've been thinking about the past.
Not the recent past, that's more like a nightmare I'd much rather forget.
Not the far off past either; back when my mom hugged me and I spent my weekends hanging out in the shed behind Shannsy's house. I'm thinking a lot about last year. Back when we were so full of the Holy Spirit. When we would sit at the beach praying, or stay at the church after bible study until the silent alarm went off because we were crying too hard. Or when we would get kicked out of the church we would sit out in the cold in front of the building, because we just weren't finished.
Now, bible study barely happens. When people actually show up, we sometimes have a topic, sometimes a pretty good one... but when was the last time we all prayed together?
I go to the beach every couple of days with Michelle, but we sit in her car discussing life and work and boys. I miss that community. I miss leaning on one another. We see eachother all the time, but the priorities aren't what they used to be. We're all fighting this battle and growing with Jesus, I have no doubt about that. But why can't we fight together?

This Is Love

So I was thinking today about the other day when I was driving with my friend. We were talking about how we don't NEED boyfriends, but maybe we just WANT them. And how she's sure that she's ready since her last relationship. We drove around, considering the idea... but I realized today that I not only don't need a boyfriend, but it would be in my best interest not to have one.
I mean, I can fully admit that about 6 months ago I was ready. I believe that the moment you stop wanting a relationship, you're ready for one. Because you no longer feel that it is a necessity. If you can't be alone, you shouldn't be with someone else. It wont make it easier.
So now I'm back where I started. And I know that if I get into anything now, it wont be for any of the right reasons. And I'm not going to start reasoning my way around this. That's how I got myself into this mess.
Besides, who needs a boyfriend, when I have the purest form of love surrounding me 24/7?


Gracious Father you have called me
Coming closer
Your arm around me is the one true thing
That I know

So help me believe
Help me believe
This is the truth you've spoken over me

This is love that you have loved me
This is love that you have set me free
This is love that you have met me
As I am, as You are
So your love whispers to my heart

You still want me
When I'm broken
So I'm open
To hear you speak my name
Call me out on my shame
Into your grace

Cause you set me free
You set me free
With the truth you've spoken over me

This is love that you have loved me
This is love that you have set me free
This is love that you have met me
As I am, as You are
So your love restores to my heart

This is love, oh this is love
This is love, oh this is love.

Exclusive Best Friends

Taylor HOME UNTIL 4 WORK UNTIL 1 says:
I don't know if she likes me or not.
Taylor HOME UNTIL 4 WORK UNTIL 1 says:
Or what to do about it.
Molly The trigger trips the hammer, but the bullets never come says:
...ask her?
Taylor HOME UNTIL 4 WORK UNTIL 1 says:
Haha, yeah.
Taylor HOME UNTIL 4 WORK UNTIL 1 says:
I wanna sit down and be like, so I like you, but I know you're not exactly the relationship type, but we enjoy our time together, so why not just be exclusive best friends? And work something out about not being long distance.
Molly The trigger trips the hammer, but the bullets never come says:
exclusive best friends?
Molly The trigger trips the hammer, but the bullets never come says:
I'm interested to hear the definition of that gem
Taylor HOME UNTIL 4 WORK UNTIL 1 says:
Lol
Taylor HOME UNTIL 4 WORK UNTIL 1 says:
It's like, friends, that aren't dating, but will eventually, and won't date other people. Like dibs-ing.
Molly The trigger trips the hammer, but the bullets never come says:
You want to "Dibs" another human being?
...she's not a seat on the school bus, or the last blue freezie
Taylor HOME UNTIL 4 WORK UNTIL 1 says:
Well I know!
Taylor HOME UNTIL 4 WORK UNTIL 1 says:
I just don't know if either of us want to be dating RIGHT NOW.
Molly The trigger trips the hammer, but the bullets never come says:
Alright Craig, if you say so.
Taylor HOME UNTIL 4 WORK UNTIL 1 says:
I just like hanging out, and maybe I'd like to kiss her now and then. We hold hands and cuddle and stuff. We have tons of fun together.
Molly The trigger trips the hammer, but the bullets never come says:
Don't you hold hands and cuddle with everyone?
Taylor HOME UNTIL 4 WORK UNTIL 1 says:
A lot of people.
Taylor HOME UNTIL 4 WORK UNTIL 1 says:
Well..
Taylor HOME UNTIL 4 WORK UNTIL 1 says:
No.
Taylor HOME UNTIL 4 WORK UNTIL 1 says:
Not lately.
Taylor HOME UNTIL 4 WORK UNTIL 1 says:
I held hands with Ben last night.
Molly The trigger trips the hammer, but the bullets never come says:
Hey, no shame, Ben's a looker.