Hypothetically Speaking

Maybe it's just wishful thinking
To suppose that you've made a glorious recovery.
That we can sit in a stark white living room, with cream trimmings
and look back on days of laughter and jovial playful thoughts.
I would probably be correct to assume that the days of holding my hand while I crossed the street are over
That the only thing left is catching a glimpse of each other in passing, while crossing a busy intersection.
And we wont stop to share a plate of cookies and reflect on hopes and dreams
but share a faint ringing in the ear and we struggle to remember where we recognize those eyes.
And only in the occurrence that we happen to glance in the mirror when we reach our seperate homes, would we catch the gaze of those same eyes staring back at us.
Maybe then we would wonder, for 5 minutes until the phone trilled us alert, if it could be true
If we had actually passed that distant memory on a street corner.
But the moment would pass and we would go our merry ways
not thinking of it much until curious children pull at coat sleeves wondering why everyone else has two sets of wrinkly grandparents pinching at cheeks.

GANG

So summer has been amazing.
Some of it has sucked (mainly the stuff that involves my dad), but the majority has been great.
I feel so thankful for everything. No matter what happens; if I never see my father again, if I have to move to Coquitlum... I will always feel so blessed to have all these amazing people in my life.


I hate time.
I mean, we've spent the past week hanging out and having an amazing time... going to the beach to pray for 3 hours until 2am... getting toes broken by Daryl Knapp and Tyler Paquette on trampolines (well.. that was just me) and it only makes it even harder when everyone has to leave.
In 3 days Michelle, Jessy, Tyler, Mary , Pearlanne and Mike all leave for camp.
Now I know that it's only for the summer, and I'll see them again in the Fall (and Jessy can come visit from CR) but our group will never be the same.
In August, Deanna leaves for Scotland for A YEAR. She leaves before the gang even gets back from camp! Then in September Caitlyn goes to the War College, and I lose a roommate... By the time she gets back, Tyler will be in Winnepeg at Booth, etc etc etc.

Our main people will never be together again.
Caitlyn recognized this awhile ago, but I only started stressing about it now (her random crying spurts have started to subside though).
Caitlyn, Carlye, Tyler, Mike, Michelle, Deanna... all of them (and more) you are my life.
I don't know what I'm supposed to do.
I hate time and I hate change and I hate being scared of the future.
I know that I'll always be okay, but sometimes I wish I could hold on to them as my security blanket forever.