Saturday, March 17, 2007

Srsly

I love my friends so much.
Last night I had the worst fight with my dad and I was more upset than I've been in awhile.
It was 1:30am and Carlye's like "hey, want to come meet us?"
So I end up walking to meet her and Caitlyn and we had a sleepover.
I remember all my fight with my dad when I was stuck in Parksville and I wouldn't know what
to do.
I know none of my friends think it's a big deal, but it really is.
I will never forget how amazing they are.
I love everyone so much right nowwww.

ps. THE HUCKSABLES? BUT HIS LAST NAME IS COOOOOSBY

I love my carlyetits so much.

You wish you were as rad as Marc Morin

[Molly] Close Your Eyes (PACKING) says:
I need a riiiide
Morin says:
again
[Molly] Close Your Eyes (PACKING) says:
my caitlyn-ride went to carlye's
[Molly] Close Your Eyes (PACKING) says:
wanna fight punk??
Morin says:
ok
[Molly] Close Your Eyes (PACKING) says:
i could take you
Morin says:
lol
[Molly] Close Your Eyes (PACKING) says:
im built, clearly
Morin says:
built ford tough?
[Molly] Close Your Eyes (PACKING) says:
YESSSS
Morin says:
lol
[Molly] Close Your Eyes (PACKING) says:
Id ask shawn for a ride
[Molly] Close Your Eyes (PACKING) says:
but im scared to call him
[Molly] Close Your Eyes (PACKING) says:
its one of my top 5 fears
[Molly] Close Your Eyes (PACKING) says:
"talk to shawn on the phone"
Morin says:
lololol
Morin says:
call danae
[Molly] Close Your Eyes (PACKING) says:
shes sick
Morin says:
she would be
[Molly] Close Your Eyes (PACKING) says:
no...
she is... be
[Molly] Close Your Eyes (PACKING) says:
wanna use your ride getting capabilities to get me a ride
[Molly] Close Your Eyes (PACKING) says:
wanna wanna wanna?

Morin says:
maybe the perrys will give you a ride
[Molly] Close Your Eyes (PACKING) says:
I have a phone
but Im scared to call people past.. like... 5
[Molly] Close Your Eyes (PACKING) says:
i'll just wait for daryl to pop up
Morin says:
lol
[Molly] Close Your Eyes (PACKING) says:
and ask him to ask

Morin says:
dave will pick you up just before 9
[Molly] Close Your Eyes (PACKING) says:
HOW DO YOU DO THAAAAT
Morin says:
cuz i am the man
[Molly] Close Your Eyes (PACKING) says:
clearly
Morin says:
everyone is always trying to stick it to me

I'll pay someone a large sum to kidnap my brother and bring him home

[Molly] Close Your Eyes says:
...you swing dance?
!*Zombie Jesus*! says:
well i need a partner
[Molly] Close Your Eyes says:
i wanna see you swing dance
its so fun
but it doesnt seem like your type of dance
!*Zombie Jesus*! says:
i listen to rock and roll... Rockabilly
[Molly] Close Your Eyes says:
yea
[Molly] Close Your Eyes says:
but I've seen you dance exactly 3 times in my life
[Molly] Close Your Eyes says:
and two of those times were before the age of 16
[Molly] Close Your Eyes says:
the third was a christmas party and the only people there were us and mom and dad

Friday, March 16, 2007

King Leonidas: We're in for one wild night

Man oh man, had the best time tonight.
Went to go see 300 with some friends.
Well, some friends turned into
Daryl, Ben, Jessy, Mary, Charis, Jim, Tyler, Mike, Josh (not Reno) twp of Mary's friends, some kids from Barsby's football team, Katelyn, Shawn, David and myself.
Probably more... I lost count somewhere along the lines.
Anyway, we were a little late coming back from McD's (THANK you Ben... not) so we had to rush
in, Daryl and Mike still had to buy their tickets, but they were sold out so they bought Ghost Rider
and snuck in, there were no seats, and Ben and I were forced to lie on the ground in FRONT of the screen. (we were all in front row)
My back hurts sooo much, but it was a good movie (especially with mine and Ben's added commentary... Kate and Mary were NOT impressed) and I loved hanging out with the gang.

In other news:
RAW IN 2 DAYS
Sooo stoked.
Then 5 days until party bus time (yeeeeeah Mina)
I love my girls so much, but I especially miss Mina and Nikole,
and it's so stellar that we're traveling with them... and Mina and I are transforming
it into party central... haha.

After all that it's back to school.
Definitely not excited.
I hardly enjoy any of it anymore.
Well, on the bright side, hopefully I'll be too busy with prom, historymaker and
grad to worry... and then I'm DONE.
It's funny, months ago I was sooo scared of gradulation and leaving my beloved high school.
Everyone said I'd grow out of it and be ready.
Wow, were they ever right!

I can barely stand it there!


ps, Shawn's decided we change our youth group name to Spartans...

Salvation Army Soldiers?
Salvation Army SPARTANS

Thursday, March 15, 2007

<33333333

"It was a bright afternoon out in front of your school. You walked down the steps...and...and I loved you."
"Why?"
"'Cause I could see your heart. You held it before you for everyone to see. And I worried that it would be bruised or torn. And more than anything in my life I wanted to keep it safe...to warm it with my own."
"That's beautiful. Or taken literally, incredibly gross."
"I was just thinking that, too."

...

Mahala-Sarah// This is the correlation of salvation and love said:
Derek and I decided our grad class is boring.
So were going to do something to make this year epic
and soap opera-ish
Mahala-Sarah// This is the correlation of salvation and love said:
what should we do
Mahala-Sarah// This is the correlation of salvation and love said:
nothing like that bomb threat or posion gas at kss
Mahala-Sarah// This is the correlation of salvation and love said:
something safe
Mahala-Sarah// This is the correlation of salvation and love said:
that wont get us in trouble
.:Chris:. -||- .We Pick Our Battles Long Before We Fight Them. -||- said:
come back from the dead 8 times, get married and then reveal that you're actually 4th generation cousins that have been 3 times removed.
Mahala-Sarah// This is the correlation of salvation and love said:
...uh

BESTFRIIIEEEENDSSS (Suppose I said you're my saving grace)

Michellie Latour, it all started with a stupid STUPID hunting game at cyber city. Stupid Daryl and Ben... and I'm very sorry for stopping the hunting intervention and giving Ben more quarters... you KNOW I couldn't say no to him. LAWL.
You're here for me 100% and I hope I am just as huge as a support to you.
I will never forget everything you've done for me. You are an amazing person and don't let anyone let you think otherwise. Oh Michellie, I love everything about you. How much fun we have just being grumpy and angry and making fun of dumb girlfriends. "Happy Birthday,I bought you France". Michelle, you always listen to my complaining and I love you for it. You're the loveliest girl ever, and Carlye, Katelyn and I make fun of your little quirks because we love you. ('let's be honest' 'sketchy' 'mhm!' 'no bigs' 'YUCK')


Rachel
I'll always love you.
No matter what happened/is happening/ has yet to happen I will never forget how much we've been through and how much you've been there for me. No matter what, no questions asked. 100%. and I love you more than anyone. Ever.
It hasn't been a smooth ride, but I don't regret switching to ND at all... it changed my life and I wouldn't have it any other way. IMY babes.


Carlye you're amazing. And you will never let any of us forget it, either.
You tell me the things I can't admit to myself and even though you're brutally honest 24/7, you're also there for me when I need you. I honestly have no clue where I'd be if I hadn't met you, because without you there'd be no church, youth group, Shawn, and about 3/4 of my friends. Thanks for not thinking I was a total creep in socials 11 and actually becoming friends with me... and Rachel and Camille.
ILY


Camille, my dear, I owe you my life. You were my first NDSS friend (beside RaeRae)and it was the fastest I ever made a friend. You've always been there for me to tell me the things I don't want to hear and I love you for that.
So you can be a total bitch, but we love you just as you are and I wouldn't have it any other way.


Taryn. So basically we rock the rodeo grounds. And the lame nanaimo malls. I love you so much. We went from best friends in grade 6, to phone friends in grade 7, to pretty much not talking too much until this summer. Then: BOOM! BFFLZ all over again. Most amazing summer ever!
And your visit at christmas was stellar... and very very boring.
You're a province away but you're still one of my very best friends. I tell you everything and I really do rely on my talks with you afterschool each day about boys and friends and how lame it is that you're so far away. Only 5 months until you're here for good. I miss you lovie! You'll always mean so much to me.

Caitlyn Spence, you do say words weird. We all love you regardless. Okay, so you know I used to be absolutely terrified of you. "What if I say something stupid to CAITLYN SPENCE" "I can't believe I just looked like such a loser in front of CAITLYN SPENCE." Now I still respect and admire you a whole bunch... but being in your presence doesn't make me faint.
I honestly never thought we'd be friends... probably because when I slept over at Carlye's house and you were there you were really mean. But hey, now we're having sleepovers all over the place... and I get to see you cry through an entire movie. Although I must say that I have enough trouble getting to sleep on time without you making me watch silent movies from 1919 until 3am. You're so easy to talk to and I'm pretty sure I would have gone crazy without your pep talks. You're pretty much amazing aaaand I love you. NOW HAVE YOU TALKED TO HIM YET? (jaaaaykaaay)


Oh Jessy... You are the coolest little chickadee. I am so proud of you and you have to know that I'll always be here for ya. You're my accountability partner, but it goes a lot further than phonecalls about scripture... I'll always be here for you whenever you need me. You're an amazing person and you shine so brightly. I am so glad I met you and I'll always remember those great times in math and English... but mostly math. I'll always be your 'Ma-Holla-Back-Girl'




Mr Ben Bergen.
All I can say is, if it weren't for your issue of talking to me through EVERY movie, I would've had a MUCH better mark in English last year. I might forgive you one day. I find it unnaturally easy to talk to you, which is new for me. Most of the time you drive me crazy, and yeah, okay the dating thing didn't work out but I still care about you a whole bunch and pretty much always
will... probably because you drive me crazy, but then are still super sweet, so I can't stay
mad or something. Jerk.
I really do miss having my spare with you... mainly because you can make me laugh... whether I want to or not.Your tie isn't gay (I got yelled at by Rachel for that) kangaroos break the big hands big feet rule and carpets CANNOT vacuum themselves. Thanks for always being there, and I vow
to hang out with you more this summer than last summer. Although last summer you were gone for 2 months and we were smitten and ridiculous so it doesn't count.
heart and such dude.
(And as long as you keep sitting with us girlies (+ Derek... doesn't count as a boy) at lunch, we will continue to eat your food. It's just how it works.)


Mary Marie! I love you! I love you to the ends of the earth. Clearly you and your sister are my favourite twins. I love chilling in your room and talking about boys and school and life. But mostly boys. You're gorgeous and your hair will make you famous one day. Thank you for being there no matter what. You're one of the coolest chickas I know. I'll always look back on bible study days and smile at how we've taken a part in adding one more grey hair to poor Dave Perry's head.



Bledsoe,
let's face it, we were mortal enemies last year.
I haaaated so many things about you.
And now look at us! Sleepovers, parties at the OFFICIAL Alexander Party House.
We make fun of eachother relentlessly, but you're an amazingly supportive friend when
it comes down to it. Trust me, I would have never thought I'd ever be going to you for advice,
or crying on your shoulder, but you're pretty much my biggest support right now.
Basically, I love you Katelyn.
Outdoor Sex Ed Y'all!


Ooooh Tiffany,
what would I do without you?
While I'm writing this you're on a plane to Greece. I do not dig that.
I love you so much babes, but do you really have to jet off and leave me all on
my lonesome on the winner bus? We totally MAKE the party on l'autobus baby.
Jareth is a total douchebag and racism sucks. Haha. Can't live without you and
we have to stay in touch after highschool. I'm pretty confident we won't be BFFLZ
after grad, but let's be honest, the 10 year reunion will be a blast!


Allyson Dawe how could I have ever disliked you? I've known you almost as long as I've known Rachel (possibly because you live across the street?) can you believe it? I love sitting in Rachel's livingroom and making prank calls to your little sister across the street until she cried... and called you for help. I know that we've had our issues, but I just love you now. Bio was a blast... especially 'helping' eachother on the tests.
I'm going to miss you so much when you move! But you have to stay nanaimo-shaped for at least the summer so we can go swimming at Westwood Lake once more and steal Emily and Kaitlin's water toys... Again. I hope you have more success in Parksville than I did. And I love you til the end of time.
I heart you forever Al


Kaitie you little freak. I've pretty much known you for about 7 years. You've always been annoying, but I've always loved you, deep down.
Everyone thought you'd never grow up, but I had faith. You're a wonderful kid and I just love you. Where's Waldo and Charlie the Unicorn are the defining moments of our friendship. Can't wait til our little roadtrip and you're my bus buddy... because I wouldn't have it any other way. You had better be in my hotel room because I love you.



Deb-a-mite, D-to the Lyn- EXTREME, Debralyn, whatever. I love you so much girlie. You;re such a creep and I'm so happy Rachel and I decided not to hate you, because then we wouldn't have had amazing fashion show, bowling party, spoonzah, hotel room extravaganzas. I hate you because you're not coming on the fantabulous road trip this year, but then again, I blew it off for California once, so I guess Japan can win out once. You're gorgeous and I hope everyone just keeps thinking we're twins.

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

WE'RE SO IN LOVE

Molly The only way into this stronghold is through the sewer. says:
carlye loves...
molly
Carlye new cell phone on friday! says:
i love you most of the time
Carlye new cell phone on friday! says:
lol
Molly The only way into this stronghold is through the sewer. says:
thats good enough for me
Carlye new cell phone on friday! says:
you know sometimes i want to ring your little neck (a)
Carlye new cell phone on friday! says:
(L)(L)(L)
Molly The only way into this stronghold is through the sewer. says:
its okay
its mutual (L)(L)
i just bottle it up
Molly The only way into this stronghold is through the sewer. says:
and because im smart enough to know that you'd hit me
Molly The only way into this stronghold is through the sewer. says:
and i have soft skin, and bruise easily
Molly The only way into this stronghold is through the sewer. says:
so i reason myself out of it

No time for a real post

Life is pretty crazy.
Leaving in 4 days for RAW
Then party bus-ing it up to P.G with Kaitie, Emily, Dori, Kourtney etc.
12 hrs... but still pretty stoked.

On the not so rad side of things, I keep getting chronic migranes.
Lamexcor3.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

And even if it all falls through, I'm here and I hear you

Okay Mom,
I swear.. this is my last letter to you.
What a lie.
I swore to myself I'd stop writing to you.
It was supposed to be "grief therapy"
Well, when will the grief end?
Yeah... my mom died, trust me... the severity is not lost on me,
but the fact that it has to take over my life.. how is that fair.
I've made a lot of mistakes in my seventeen years, Mom...
but I have forgiveness, right? So why do I have this torment following
me around. I'm not laying a guilt trip on you or anything... I know this
was never your plan... I know you loved me. People tell me all the time.
"Your mother loved you so much" "You were your moms entire world"
"All your mom ever wanted for you was everything she never had"
It's the most ironic statement to say to a kid who's mother has just
kicked the bucket. I know you did mom, but do they truly
believe that these are my most gleeful moments?
I'm not trivializing it Mom, I'm just attempting to simplify.
I'm not complaining that I have a horrible burdened life because of
your death, because I don't. I love my life... I love it more than I ever have.
What I hate is whenever I'm at my happiest, it's never anyone else's happiest.
When I was happy back "in the day", that's all it was.
Pure simple happiness.
Now it's happy... and still kind of bummed out.
Or when I'm sad, you're not there to fix it.
I know teenage girls rarely go to their moms for advice,
even if they probably should... but I don't even HAVE the option.
This is getting sort of bratty, which was never my intention.
When did this happen mom? I tell everyone I'm SO over it
and SO okay. But I'm not, I never was. It still feels like one
big dream. Like I could wake up tomorrow and be living back on
Alsbrook Road in our 19th century house, with a dog and 3 cats and my
room across from my brothers. And you would have never gotten sick.
I would be 14 again, you would be in the garden, dad would be at work.
I would have no memory of NDSS or the Salvation Army, I would be best
friends with Alexis or Sami or Veronica (How weird is that?) and best
friends with Rachel, the girl who goes to school 2 cities away but
is still the most amazing friend I could ever have.
I'd have long blond hair and cute clothes and my perfect
naive princess life.
The truly ironic thing is, I don't want any of that.
I want to be a 17 year old who lives in a pathetic townhouse in Nanaimo
who is about to MAYBE graduate from NDSS. Who is worried
about friends and ex boyfriends and prom and psychology projects.
I want to be a girl who is normal, down to earth, VERY lacking in the naive
princess qualities and who has a mom.
But I can't have my cake and eat it too, can I mom?
Nope. Not me. Not anyone.
Which is why this is not a complaining letter.
Nothing comes from complaining.
Because in the end, I know that this isn't a dream and you aren't coming
back and I still have to deal with all of this on my own.
And I'm okay with that.
For now.
But get back to me tomorrow.
My entire opinion could have changed by then.
I'm a 17 year old girl.
It's what I do.

Sunday, March 11, 2007

Hmm.
So it appears I've turned into Jessy.
I'm freaking uot about that interview
"did they like me?""did I say the right things?"
They gave me a ride home, so they got to
know me better, but I'm still iffy.
I mean, I haven't taken LIT or LIT2
but neither has Jessy, Tyler, Caitlyn, Mary or Carlye.
At least Carlye had XLR:8, which means she's basically a shoe-in
like Michelle and Mike were last year.
50 people applied from all over, and only 30 positions are available.
We hear back at the end of march.
Even if I don't get it, I'm going to volunteer.
I'm just worried how it would break Jessy's heart if she doesn't get in.
I'm sure she will though.
Def.


My dad's been away all weekend,
and I've decided I'm not going to let him do it again.
It's been such a hassle getting around this weekend.
I've gotten rides with Caitlyn or Shawn,
but I'm rideless to church today and I would've been stranded
in Harewood last night if it weren't for the Pikes.
I wanted to go to the spaghetti dinner so badly yesterday
but kids didn't start leaving till 4, and interviews didn't end until 6,
we left around 6:30 and by then it was pointless... aaand I was wearing
2 torn t-shirts, muddy jeans and soggy runners.
Yumm.

Despite it all, yesterday was amazing.
I mean, we've been waiting in anticipation for this day for
weeks. It was sooo great. I'm a total JYC n00b, but even I
know it went sooo well.
The kids were amazing, and it was so much fun having Mel, Jessi and Sam in
my group. Those kids are so awesome. All of them were,
and then there was that scary bit with the one kid.
I have never been so scared in my life. I'm so proud of how Taylor handled it.
She just came up to me and told me what was going on and we took him right to Shawn.
I cannot conceive how a little boy could want to end his life, but apparently we handled it well.
Plus, we pwned at all the games.
Can't wait til next year.
Church tiiiime<3

Best thing my youth pastor has ever said on camera

Hey Chris, how's your package?