Take Time To Realize That I Am On Your Side

Ohhhh boy.
Today was so... jam packed.
Not exactly in a super awesome way, either.
Friends are hurting, and my heart is filled with anxiousness.
But you know what? I still love life a lot.
It's such a good feeling, a feeling I forgot I could feel.
I'm not saying the past few weeks have been complete torture or anything...
but the entire time, I always had this sick feeling in my stomach.
My life still had a lot of good aspects to it, and I'm not saying I didn't enjoy the time I spent with everyone, and the good times had by all... but it wasn't this.
This is good. This is happiness.
No. Scratch that.
Because I'm not saying that I'm happy all the time now. Aspects of my life still suck, people I love a lot are still getting hurt, I'M still feeling pretty wounded by some things, but it's almost like, in the long run, none of that matters. I can still close my eyes and feel good. My heart feels full, my soul feels like it's singing.
Shawn and I had a conversation about a year ago, while we were driving to his house. He asked me how everything was going, he asked me if I was happy. I told him that more or less, yes, I had a lot to be thankful for; him, the congregation, my friends, my teachers... and he told me that happiness doesn't mean anything. Happiness is a fleeting emotion, just like all the others.
Lust is temporary, anger, sadness, envy, and yes, even happiness.
He paused and asked "Molly, are you joyful? Because happiness is so temporary. Someone can give you a hug, or even a ten bucks, and it can bring you happiness... but joyfulness, it's almost like a testament to God, praising him for blessing you with a life filled with happiness, with struggles, with tears, but with overall joy. "

I am joyous.
Sometimes I'm happy, sometimes I'm sad, sometimes I feel envious or blinded by anger, but my life is a joyous one. I am filled and overflowing with joy.
Joy and praise.