So when you say forever, can't you see - you've already captured me

Today was the first day of Mom's and Tots camp. It was pretty slack, which is the norm. A lot of set up and then some sitting. It's a nice change of pace, and a great opportunity for me to get my health up a bit. So far, it's been really fun. I had a great time at moms and tots last year, but this year seems much cooler somehow. Maybe it's the lack of torrential downpour, (last years weather conditions were dreadful.) or the fact that I am comfortable with a lot more people now. I'm sharing a room with Amanda in the staff house (affectionately dubbed "Mandar Humblebee" by moi) which of course, is wonderful. I've like the opportunity to spend time with people I wouldn't normally get a chance to, like Jilly... whom I've missed terribly since she's been on Program Staff (Jilly = my vbs leader last year) and Mike Touz. He got pretty stoked when I told him about my plans to move to Burnaby and going to CHT and such. Apparently I have to leave Tuesdays on my schedule clear. Very suspicious. 

Also, Pearlanne is here this week as a cabin mom, so I'm gonna have a chance to spend time with her. Camp just hasn't been quite the same without her!

Tonight on the phone, Caitlyn asked me what Jesus has been teaching me.  The question scared me quite a bit. Despite the fact that I love being here and love spending time with the people around me, my heart feels so negative. So despite the fact that I talk to Jesus and read my bible everyday, I couldn't think of a single thing in my life that represented Him, everything just feels sour. 

I suppose Jesus is teaching me about love. Not just for those who it is a joy to love, but those who I hate to love. 

There's nothing wrong with living loud

So I'm in a state of refection now. All 4 holiday camps are officially over. 

I still have moms and tots and a week of VBS ahead of me, but the 4 major weeks are behind us all. It's crazy to think of everything that has happened in the past month. The hurdles that were overcome, and the ones that were not. The 600 kids that passed through this camp. All the lives that were impacted... positively, I pray. 

The roughly 170 or so children who made commitments to Christ. 

The tears, the sickness, the endless laughter and memories. The bumps, the bruises and the insane battlescars. This summer changed me far more than I would have ever anticipated. I praise God for sending me here again this year. For every single blessing he has placed in my life. I have never been more thankful than I am here at this moment, or have been in the past few weeks. 

We talk about how camp changes lives. We tell the kids how God changed our lives and brought us here, brought THEM here... but I think sometimes we forget how God is STILL bringing us here not only to change THEIR lives, but so that they can change OURS. 

Yesterday I spent some time looking over my 4 cabin photos, staring into the faces of 33 girls. 33 girls so unique and so perfect in God's eyes. I wrote the names of each girl on the back of the photos and placed them in my bible, as a reminder. A reminder of why I come back here each Summer, a reminder of exactly who the Lord wants us to be. And a reminder of who I am. So this next year, when I stray from the path, as I ultimately do, I can look into the eyes of those 33 girls and remember where exactly my identity lies. 

Soundtrack To Our Summer

Let's just say... I'm really excited for the next week.