You only stand to break my heart, I can tell it by the way you run away

Tonight a bunch of us went to Karen's house. The 'old gang'... so basically me, Carlye, Caitlyn, Josh, Kate, Michelle etc.
Shawn and Krista came, which was awesome, and Krista and I made definite plans to MAKE definite plans regarding a mentoring sesh, since we haven't gotten together much since I asked her to mentor me.
Alex (whose last name I cannot recall) and Sharon Bard came as well; they're the new youth pastors for Neighborhood. I didn't really talk to Alex much, but he seems nice enough, and he seemed to really bond with Josh and Mike.
Sharon, obviously, is lovely.
I had a meeting with Shawn near the end and told him about a lot of what I've been feeling, what's going on in my life, and how I feel about what's going on in others. I know it was hard for him to talk about some stuff, but he said some things that kind of helped both of us, I think.
He also made it very clear that I will NEVER be alone, and that he's never going to let me go through anything alone. He ended with "Molly, we've always figured this out togehter before, right? Whether it be money, or your dad, or mom, I've never stopped until we've worked out a solution, and it's no different now."
He told me he was going to work out ways that I could just come over to his place when I needed to be with a happy family or just hang out and know without a doubt that I was not alone... or if I just needed a hug from Krista. ("I reason with things and determine logic, Krista gives you hugs")
Flip, I just feel so blessed to have that entire family in my life.
How did I ever luck out this much?

Oh Josh Mills

Molly Give me space so you can drown in this with me says:
25 DAYS
Fru Fru Is A Horses Name says:
until
Fru Fru Is A Horses Name says:
xlr8?
Molly Give me space so you can drown in this with me says:
you're so smaart
Fru Fru Is A Horses Name says:
dang
Fru Fru Is A Horses Name says:
i need to get reading
Molly Give me space so you can drown in this with me says:
i finished it
Fru Fru Is A Horses Name says:
holy jeez
Molly Give me space so you can drown in this with me says:
now i have to write the essay about how i have failed as a Christian, according to that book
Molly Give me space so you can drown in this with me says:
the other one was inspiring, this one was just depressing
Molly Give me space so you can drown in this with me says:
it was like a literary slap in the face
Fru Fru Is A Horses Name says:
haha
Fru Fru Is A Horses Name says:
o mollty
Molly Give me space so you can drown in this with me says:
oh her
Fru Fru Is A Horses Name says:
hhahaha
Fru Fru Is A Horses Name says:
o molty
Fru Fru Is A Horses Name says:
anyways
Molly Give me space so you can drown in this with me says:
i feel a new nickname coming on
Fru Fru Is A Horses Name says:
o molly
Fru Fru Is A Horses Name says:
such a deep thinker
Fru Fru Is A Horses Name says:
haha
Fru Fru Is A Horses Name says:
molty
Fru Fru Is A Horses Name says:
i'm so calling you molty
Molly Give me space so you can drown in this with me says:
see? i called it

Loveology

I'm so crazy about so many people in my life.
Everyone is so incredible, and it's starting to make me feel like I'm such a burden.
I'm pretty moody a lot of the time, and I miss who I used to be.
This week with Vangi was a little rocky, but last night we talked a lot and I kind of spilled my heart out a bit. Honestly, I don't do that very often. I tell Michelle a lot, like what I think of people or situations... everything external. I think sometimes I'm really good at putting off the persona of a very open person, but nothing I ever talk about is internal, nothing is very real.
Flip, I feel so blessed to have Ben in my life. I don't know how he does it, but he lets off this sort of vibe that I can let those little things go. My insecurities and my hopes and dreams and the tender bits of my soul end up just kind of being poured out whenever I talk to him. He's just so... safe.
I love that kid so much, he's just an incredible friend.
Okay, that's enough about that.
I feel so tense and completely wound up right now. Everything is in such ultra-focus that I can't even concentrate on anything that is going on. So it's just going to keep going on forever.
I wish I didn't have that thing where I set expectations that are constantly broken. Not necessarily in people as much as events. Going to my family was so super-built up in my head for weeks that I just ended up coming home feeling worse than when I left.
Or I tell myself 'everything is going to be okay as soon as I see this person' and then everything reverts back to the old scheme of things.
I kind of have that going with my talk I'm going to be having with Shawn; finally getting to air all my hurt and confusion and betrayal and sorrow to him and getting his opinion on it. I told him last night that I just want to talk to him because I respect his opinion more than anyone, and he kind of laughed and said "cute, Molly" .

Come on youth pastor, make everything better.

Hide and Seek

Where are we?
What the ^hell is going on?
The dust has only just begun to _fall,
^Cr_op ^ci_rc^le_s in the carpet, _sinking, ^feeling.
Spin me round again and rub my eyes.
This can't be happening.
When busy streets a mess with people
would stop to hold their heads heavy.

Hide and seek.
Trains and sewing machines.
All those years they were here first.

Oily marks appear on walls
Where pleasure moments hung before.
The takeover, the sweeping insensitivity of this
still life.

Hide and seek.
Trains and sewing machines.
Oh you won't catch me around here.
Blood and tears
They were here first.

What'd you say?
That you only meant well? Well, of course you did.
What'd you say?
That it's all for the best? Of course it is.
What'd you say?
That it’s just what we need? And you decided this.
What you say?
What did she say?

Ransom notes keep _falling out your mouth.
Mid-sweet talk, ^newspaper word cut-outs.
Speak no feeling, no I don't believe you.
You don't care a bit. You don't care a bit.