Mom.

A flower for your vanity, a penny for your thoughts
About the world's insanity and how we've gotten lost
Strike up the band to play a song as we go waltzing by
And fake a smile as we all say goodbye

Say a prayer for recognition, kiss the ones you love
Gather up the ammunition, sigh for all the lost
Strike up the band to play a song as we go waltzing by
And fake a smile as we all say goodbye

Raise a glass for ignorance, drink a toast to fear
The beginning of the end has come that's why we all are here
Strike up the band to play a song and try hard not to cry
And fake a smile as we all say goodbye
Goodbye

Dad.

A promise or a dare
I would jump if I knew you'd catch me
Staring over the edge
I can't tell if you'll be here for me

I close my eyes and make a wish
Turn out the lights and take a breath
Pray that when the wick is burned
You would say that it's all about love

You weren't there when I needed you
You weren't there when the skies broke wide, wide open
You weren't there when I needed you
You weren't there when the skies broke wide, wide open

You were never here

I remember you said
Love was more than your good intentions
Empty boxes on the floor
Things I never asked you for
I pray that when the wick is burned
You would say that it's all about love

I can't see the promise of
Excuses you fall upon
I pray to God not holding on
To things you've left undone

Cherrybomb

"It is innocence when it charms us,
Ignorance when it does not."
So you charmed me.
You downright made my knees do that pathetic jelly thing
and the butterflies burst from their abdominal cocoons
in a flurry of bright colors and burning nausea.
And so you made me do that girl thing.
The sit up at 4am and whisper to curious confidantes
about first kisses and those sweet nothings in the ear melodramatics.
Well it stops now.
The light that hangs listlessly from that crook above the freeway glows crimson.
As it were, the entire earth shares the shade.
Gone are the days where everything shone in pastels.
Everything is RED from here on in.
Red with determination, power and utter indignation.
Red like my heart.
That with each and every monotonous beat somewhat whispers your name.
Well, not a whisper as much as a loud clattering.
Or maybe the crash of a wrecking ball.
Oh who am I kidding?
End of poem.

Molly Woodford

Candlelight Vigel

I guess as the months and the years wear on
And that pretentious grandfather clock in the den chimes gallantly
I'm expected to feel some sort of peace.
I'm supposed to lift up my hands and declare that I am a better person and call out "I am gratified and I have grown through my pain and near demise!"
So I guess it helped in a way
It really added spice to the whole growing up pseudo-after-school-special-my-life-is-invigorated-by-this-one-of-a-kind-life-lesson thing

But the funny thing about growing up is,
it happens.
You can jet off to Antigua for God knows how long and it happens.
I would still grow and learn and screw up
-save deaths, rebirths, financial devastations and step-on-the-crack-break-your-mother's-whatever detonations.

So thank you for the gratification,
but I know and you know and that girl from my grade 10 science class knows that is is displaced.
Because despite all the tears and tears
and sordid pity hugs
I would have grown up and grow out.
Out of devastation, out of despair and out of her arms.

Molly Woodford

Soco Amaretto Lime

I'm gonna stay eighteen forever (cut me open)
So we can stay like this forever (sun poisoned)
And we'll never miss a party (this offer...)
cause we keep them going constantly (...stands forever)
And we'll never have to listen (new haircut)
to anyone about anything (new bracelet)
cause it's all been done and its all been said (eyeliner)
we're the coolest kids and we take what we can get

...9 days til Summer '07. (and last day of school)
...10 days til Grad Camp Out.
...24 days til graduation.

...24 days til the first day of the rest of our lives.

Life, God, Death and Your Family

I haven't been able to update in a very long time, which is just too horrendous for words.

So a quick debriefing:

May long weekend:
Historymaker... = 4 day long roadtrip to the farthest reaches of... Chiliwack...
with some of the best friends I could ever ask for.
4000 + teens from all over.
Good times had by all.
Went to a talk by a woman who went through something similar to my experience.
A part of her testimony was actually identical WORD FOR WORD to mine... weirder thing?
She grew up in Nanaimo (but now resides in Ontario)
Even weirder...? Her name was Ellen. Just like my mom.
Weird.

Last weekend:
Umm... Can't seem to remember what went on.
Oh wait...
Friday I spent some good times with youth group and we smashed things... not even kidding.
Saturday I organized a picnic in the park... cause I'm, like, worth it.
Basically just hung around with Maddie, Kaitie, Dori, Lindsey, Emily, Megan etc.
We played volleyball... (and I totally schooled everyone) and even tried discgolf... very unsuccessfully. Sunday I hung out at Caitlyn's house with the crew. [Michelle, Kate, Caitlyn, Mike, Tyler etc. etc. etc.] The norm.
We went to Earls for lunch, too. But we do that every Sunday.
Sunday night was fullcircle and Caitlyn did an AMAZING talk... sooo funny and great and 100% fabulouso. I gave my testimony too, without a sinlge hitch.
Michelle and I bawled for awhile too, cause that's what best friends do... but thats a story for another time, dearies.

This weekend:
Camping with jobies.
Met and fell in love with Ashley Truelove.
Basically an entire weekend spent spinning and falling and such fun with Ashley, Dori, Maddie and Teresa. Oh yeah, and swimming in the ocean late at night... for kicks.

So tomorrow my brother arrives on the island... he landed in BC saturday.
I cannot believe that this will be my first time seeing him in 2 years.
I missed him sooo much.
Can't wait.
Frig!
Gotta get some desperately needed beauty sleep.

Adios chickas and papa citos.