So it is officially my birthday in 2 minutes.
I had dinner with my dad tonight and it was really really... fun.
I miss my dad a lot, but I don't know what that means exactly.
I'm pretty sure that leaving didn't make the missing family syndrome improve all that much,
and it just makes my birthday even lonelier.
I miss holiday traditions... I miss my mom's birthday breakfast.
I want my life to make sense.

Cordell, a kid from my XLR8 session, said something that really seemed profound to me.

"good night molly and happy birthday.
godbless you many miracles and may god grant you your greatest wish. Let Yahweh shine through you!"

It got me to thinking about what I really want for my birthday.
I miss my mom and I miss my family and I miss a life that made sense.
I could do the noble thing and wish for world peace or an end to world hunger...
but would that REALLY make me feel less like a useless, unwanted being?
Probably not.

Happy Birthday to me.