Absolute

So it's December 10th.
I can't believe it was 3 years ago today that my mom passed away.
I'm in a very reflective mood right now; it's not a bad day, this one... it's usually the weeks leading up to this day that aren't so hot.
I'm trying to avoid the thoughts, feelings and general memories from that night 3 years ago... they aren't happy ones and they don't exactly help with the general coping process. I'm mainly looking back on the past 3 years... how much has changed. That first year seemed to stretch on forever, and I feel like the time spent in Qualicum without her was much longer than the ones I've spent in Nanaimo. It definitely doesn't feel like it was two years ago that I burst into Rachel's biology class crying. (I missed my bus, forgot my backpack, was late to school etcetera etcetera, and then on top of that I was reminded by everything that a year later my mom was still dead; it was rough.)I cannot believe that I've spent over 2 years in Nanaimo, and known most of my friends; the church, youth group, Shawn, for... well, two years... today.
So although my mom's death isn't exactly a memory I can look back on and smile about, a lot of the things that came from it are worthy of a smile. My amazing friends, the church, the youth group, sleepovers with Michelle, talks with Caitlyn, being monkey's with little Claire, every single thing in my life, good or bad, is a direct offshoot from my mom's death. I'd rather not think of it like that, though.
Maybe they're all gifts from my mom. Like even long after she's gone from this earth, she's still taking care of me.