Friday, February 5, 2010

Before the gleam of your taillights fading East to find yourself a better life

I haven't really felt like writing lately. Last night I was telling Jen about how, growing up, my mom always talked about the day when I would become a famous author, and I would sign it "Mahala Sarah" and make the dedication out to my mom, who taught me everything I know. I would usually just roll my eyes when she floated off into this fantasy world of hers, but it's a dream I still keep tucked away. I seem to be doing that a lot. Tucking things away. Dreams, hopes, ambitions, little prayers.. and I don't think it's what God wants for me. When I was a little girl, I had this picture in my mind of what my life would look like when I was 20 years old. I was talking to Clint yesterday about how, "whenever we start something new, there's always a certain expectation... and then there's reality." They rarely match up perfectly.
So does that mean that we should get rid of expectation entirely. Be satisfied with whatever we can get?
I think this post stopped being about life goals somewhere along the way.
But I may as well continue.... I'm starting to think that that's not good enough for me. I deserve more than "the best I can get. "

The glove compartment isn't accurately named, and everybody knows it - so I'm proposing a swift orderly change.
Cause behind it's door there's nothing to keep my fingers warm, and all I find are souvenirs from better times.

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