Everything I think about, makes me feel like a version of myself

So I've had a couple friendships where I stop talking to someone for awhile, but when we talk again, suddenly we're on the same wavelength as before. I used to assume that it was a sign that we're such good friends nothing could tear us apart. But that's not it. It's almost as if people grow together, and as much as you change, whatever connection you once shared never fully goes away. I reconnected with an old friend earlier this week... we were incredibly close at one point in my life; best friends... but a lot happened that changed it. It's funny, really, I can remember when it ended and my dad told me that he was sure we'd be friends again one day, and I told him that it would NEVER happen, that we were sworn enemies for life. At the time it was the biggest deal because it's all I knew of my world. I ended up switching schools directly after that, mostly because of this one friend. But now, none of that seems to matter. Now, I know I suck at holding grudges, but when I search my memory for the main reasons we stopped talking, they really seem ridiculous. I mean, I was 15 and my mom was dead and nothing really made sense.
Back to the friendship thing though, it's almost like we're conditioned to have certain reactions when we see certain people... or act a certain way. I mean, I know for a FACT that I am nowhere near the person I was in grade 10, and she's convinced she isn't either... and yet when we talk it's like nothing's changed.
I think we're conditioned to do or think a lot of things. Like the smell of brownies cooking reminds me of the house I had on Hickey Ave, and the smell of Antibacterial soap reminds me of my moms hospital room, and snow reminds me of my brother and I cross country skiing when I was 6.
Or whenever I peel a mandarin orange, I always feel sad if the peel breaks into 2 or more pieces, because I've been conditioned to believe that's horrible, just from growing up with the "first orange you eat, if the peel comes off in one piece, you get a wish" thing.
I know that everything that has ever been said or done to me has influenced who I am, and I'm okay with that. My mom dying tweaked me a little one way, and my experiences with my dad molded me another. However, as much as those events shaped who I am, I am not those events. I don't want to be defined by my experiences. People do it a lot, not in a negative way, but by describing me as 'strong' because of my mom's death. I do it too, I've learned. Eventually, it just becomes a comfortable habit. It's a lot easier to be those things that figure out who I really am. The truth is, her death didn't make me strong, it made me very very weak. Dealing with that made me strong. Having to react to everything that resulted from her death gave me strength. My mom's death is not me. I am not motherless, I am not fatherless. I am Molly. I am friendly and warm and I have an amazing sense of humor. I am a good friend and I am an evangelist. I am energetic and some times kind of cruel. I am fast to speak and slow to anger. I am good at lifting people up, and sadly, pretty talented at putting them down (though I try not to do that purposely).
But I am not death, I am not despair. I am not tragic or broken.
I am growing and learning and glowing.
Or if I'm not, at least I'm trying.