The Tragic of Youth and the Toy of Life

So I just got home from Grand Sessions. What an... experience.
It was basically a mix of trips to the mall, late nights with early risings,
icky asian food c/o Mrs.Sutton (chaperone extraodinaire), long ceremonies, longer waits for the elevator, fancy dresses, uncomfortable shoes, hairspray and great friends.
I'm not exactly sure where I fit into jobies anymore. I love all those girls an awful lot, but my guilt complex often just has me convinced that everyone secretly hates my guts. I was hoping it would be different in jobies, but it really isn't.
I remember a time when I belonged. Not just there, but once upon a time I belonged at youth group, too. Or when I belonged with my friends at KSS, before that ended and I ended up leaving. I feel like I'm going to spend the rest of my life screwing up, or searching for a place to belong. Or fearing that once I find it, I'll do what I do best, mess it up, and be back where I started.
I want to like who I am, but it's hard to when no one else really does.