A glass can only spill what it contains

So I have made the conscious decision to start blogging again. I miss writing in a very achy way, and I should probably get back into practice before classes start up.
I'm not sure how I feel about life these days. I've been having a lot of D&M's (Deep and Meaningful) with Caitlyn recently, because I've been feeling like I'm losing sight of myself.
I've been priding myself over the past few months on how self-aware I seemed to be getting, but now I'm just not so sure. I've been through a lot of really intense stuff in my short life, and yet it seems to me that it's the more inconsequential stuff that appears to be throwing my life into a tailspin lately. Maybe it is that realization that has me so on edge.
Regardless, my heart has been feeling pretty strained lately. It's being stretched and squeezed to it's limits, and although I am aware that it's a muscle to be worked, it's not something I enjoy all that much. I was pouring it all out to Caitlyn earlier this evening about the things I feel versus the things I know to be true. That although I feel utterly heartbroken all the time, I know that healing is taking place in direct correlation, and despite my extreme emotional highs and lows, I am completely aware of where I am and what I need/am ready for regardless of how I feel.
It's funny, I had a moment after unleashing this wave of emotion where I felt completely vulnerable and embarrassed of everything I had told her, and was sure she was going to write me off as being a complete basketcase, but instead, she told me how impressed she was with how aware I was of my own needs and emotional boundaries.
It seems ridiculous now that I would ever think Caitlyn would think I was a basketcase; she's such a steadfast best friend, and she sees all the beauty and maturity in me that I fail to ever recognize on my own.
I feel lately like I have to work to constantly remind myself that I am safe and taken care of, and despite many possible pitfalls, I have so many terrific things going for me.
I thank God every day for Caitlyn, and her unwavering ability to make me see that.

This somehow became a lovenote to her, so I'll continue my emotional downfall later on.
Namaste.

ps. I've started listening to mewithoutYou a lot while writing; it is brilliant and therapeutic. Try it sometime.