Normal is the watchword

I really appreciate Catherine Chalk.
I had the terrific opportunity to spend a significant amount of time with her today sitting on a couch talking, and it was such a blessing. I truly love our ability to be honest and lay everything out on the table right off the bat. I've realized recently that honesty is something I wholly admire in a person. I've had a lot of uncertainties in my life, and although I can appreciate the fact that not everything is black and white or cut and dry, I will take any opportunity to dispel the gray areas. During my conversation with her I also found myself reawakening a certain sense of self that I seem to be missing lately.
I love camp, but I feel like a floater here. Things that seemed so trivial before, take a greater importance in my life, and I spend a lot less time being conscious of what I have and my place in my own story.
I'm not sure if this actually makes any sense... but I'm just going to keep trucking along...

When I'm at home, despite whether I'm having a bad day or not, my purpose is clear, and I feel so solid and grounded. And I do spend a lot of time feeling that way here, don't get me wrong, camp has done amazing things for me; in the past and in these last few weeks. But I think different parts of me tend to be highlighted when I'm in either place.
I remember before I left for camp, I desperately needed a break. I felt so strained, and coming here was such a blessing. I could feel different things instantly falling into place, and started to wonder if Vernon was really where I was meant to be.
In the last little while, though, I realized that there are parts of myself, parts that I have felt growing and maturing and really adding to my character, that tend to fall away while I'm here.
I am apprehensive about returning home in 2 weeks, but at the same time, it feels right and feels like time. There is so much left to experience there, and so many people I feel at a loss without.
It's bizarre to think that this time last year, those people weren't even on my radar. I've always liked and admired Nicole, but I never considered she'd become my very best friend and confidante. I didn't even know Jen last year, and now I can't imagine my life without her. The MacBain's are like family to me, and I miss holding Ethan, Tenaya, Nathan, Ben and Lucas in my arms when I'm away. It physically aches a little to think that Janelle isn't up to date on my ENTIRE life, and I miss walking into work and instantly being cheered by Andre's smile.
I'm so grateful for the parts everyone has played in my life this past year, and I'm very excited for the next year.
I suppose that's all.
Namaste.