Feel the rain on your skin

You would have made me go to sleep in my room and BEFORE 3am.
You probably would have one of those annoying switches installed that turn
off my computer so I wouldn't be on it all night. Granted,
I wouldn't have a reason to be If you were here.
I definitely would not ignore my clock every time it went off, not that I would
need it at all. I would just rely on "Mooe, wakie wakie".
Day in and day out. Everything in life could change, a natural disaster
could occur 3 blocks away and it would still be the same wake up call.
You would make me eat breakfast. No way would I get out the door without
a solid meal in my stomach. And a glass of fresh orange juice.
You'd be downstairs when I finally rolled out of bed, making a paper bag
feast. Like the ones Ben brings to school.
The bottomless lunches that everyone steals stuff
from because we all know that with that much food, he's
not going to starve.
When I came home from school, you would have been there waiting.
No matter where you worked or what the hours should be,
you would be ready and waiting at 3 o clock.
You would ask for every detail of my day, like you really cared,
not like dad. Wandering in the door at 7 and asking half heartedly while
doing 500 other things and only because he heard
you do it for 20 years with Jacob and I.
I would tell you about how Carlye is the biggest bitch in photography
but how I love her anyway. Or how I miss sleepovers at Rachel's
house because I feel like that's the most 100% real family.
I would talk about that cute boy I met and that cute boy
that I can't get over.
I'd tell you how much I missed you and how much it completely
fucked dad over.
He would get home and probably not even notice you were
there cooking dinner.
Because no offense, but life has moved on without you.
But I can still dream, can't I?