I graduate soon.
VERY soon.
I've been spending the last few months saying I wasn't ready.
Saying I didn't want to leave.
It was happening too fast and I wasn't ready for the change.
I'm sure that's part of it.
But there's so much more.
my mom died 26 months ago.
I'm graduating in 4.
She's going to miss it.
She missed me growing up.
I know she saw me take my first steps.
and learn words.
and go to school.
and get my first crush.
but she missed watching me turn into a person I'm moderately proud of.
she missed the first fight with Rachel.
she missed my first broken heart.
These are the things mom are supposed to be there for...

The things I want her here for... right now.
The things I need her for.