So what did you do those 3 days you were dead? Cause this problem is gonna last more than the weekend.

March 2005

MªHªLª - šª®ªH *ª¤Feel Good Inc.¤ª* says:
I miss my mommy, Chris. I hate today.
Chris -||- says:
Yeah... Tomorrow will be different though
MªHªLª - šª®ªH *ª¤Feel Good Inc.¤ª* says:
How do you know?
Chris -||- says:
With every rise and fall of the sun, a new story in our lives are written
Chris -||- says:
Today was a sad chapter. Tomorrow's still unwritten.
Chris -||- says:
Really depends on what you want to write in there

I know that I'm definitely a different person than 15 year old me.
I was angry and scared and weak and so lost.
But I like to believe that what he told me then is still relevant.
Maybe that's why I kept it all those years ago...
Chris has always been my hope.
I saw my dad last night. I was just driving past my old house with Shannon, who had come up from Qualicum to see me, and she hasn't seen him since we were 14 and he wasn't exactly her biggest fan back then.
But being the cool girl she is, she just went with the flow.
It wasn't planned or anything. We were just driving past and I said "Hey, wanna go see my dad" which was answered with "Uhhhh... Uhhhh... If you'll be okay"
He looked better... different. Not different medicated, but almost like I've never seen him. He said that the doctors claim he's always been battling depression, and my mom's death just intensified it. Does that mean that I never truly knew the real him? Or that that is the real him, and this "chemically balanced" dad isn't truly him?
He hasn't smoked or drank in 5 weeks. He goes to stress meetings and does yoga. He says to come visit him any time and he hugged me a lot, but didn't cry when he did it like he used to. Maybe I've changed enough that I don't remind him of mom. Or maybe he's healthy enough that the reminder doesn't hurt him.